The Postnatal Physios and Their Grand Promises

Ah, the post-natal physios. They mean well, they really do. They swoop in with their diagrams of pelvic floors, their gentle yet insistent advice about breathing techniques, and their unwavering promise to heal your body inside and out.

And for about five minutes, you’re on board. You’re imagining a future where your core is stronger than it was pre-baby, your posture is perfect, and you can laugh-sneeze without fear of, well, you know. But then reality hits:

• The baby starts crying the second you try to do those magical pelvic floor exercises.

• You’re told to “just fit it into your day,” as if your day isn’t already bursting at the seams with nappy changes, feeding sessions, and trying to remember if you brushed your teeth.

• They casually mention it might take “a few months to a year” to see results. A YEAR?! At this point, you’re just trying to make it to the weekend.

  
  

To be fair, they’re not wrong—strengthening your body postpartum is a noble and worthy goal. But the idea that you’ll emerge from their program as some kind of postpartum goddess is laughable when your reality involves bouncing a screaming baby while Googling "how to clean sick out of the carpet."

The Truth About Healing Your Body

Here’s the deal: your body might never look or feel exactly the way it did pre-baby—and that’s okay. Yes, those physio exercises can be helpful (when you can actually remember to do them, or even afford them), but they’re not a magic wand.

The best advice? Be kind to yourself. Do what you can, when you can, and don’t stress about the rest. Because while pelvic floor exercises are great, so is enjoying a slice of cake without worrying about whether your diastasis recti is closing.

And let’s not forget the real postnatal recovery MVPs:

• Elasticated Waistbands: Because who has time for zips?

• Supportive Bras: Holding it together (literally and figuratively).

• Wine or Tea (Your Choice): A different kind of emotional therapy.

  
  

Embrace the Chaos

The post-natal physios have their place, and we salute their dedication to helping mums. But if you can’t manage to squeeze in a single exercise between naps and chaos, know this: you’re still doing an incredible job. Whether you “heal your body inside and out” or just heal your sleep-deprived soul with a good Netflix binge, you’re winning at motherhood.

And remember, no physio session ever prepared anyone for the real test of strength—carrying a toddler, a car seat, and 15 bags of shopping while simultaneously answering “Why?” for the hundredth time. Now that’s core work. 💪