The Double Standards for Mums and Dads: Why Parenting Isn’t Equal in the Eyes of Society (with a Dash of Humour)

Parenting: it’s a job with no annual leave, no training manual, and no chance of an early retirement. But while the daily chaos of raising kids should bring mums and dads together in equal partnership, society still seems to have some strange ideas about who does what. Spoiler: if you’re a mum, you probably have a front-row seat to all the double standards—and sometimes, they’re so absurd, they’re almost funny.

Dad’s Day Out vs. Mum’s Day Out: The Expectations Gap

Ever notice that when a dad takes his kids out, it’s like he’s out for a stroll with the royal family? Strangers rush over to coo, “Wow, what a great dad!” He gets offered help with the pram, a pat on the back, maybe even a round of applause. He could be wiping a child’s nose on his sleeve while holding the baby and people are still like, “Look at him, such a hands-on dad!”

But if a mum takes her kids out? Crickets. No one’s rushing to offer her praise. Why? Because society expects her to have it together at all times. She’s a mum—this is just what she does. She’s not “hands-on”—she’s hands everywhere. People only notice if something goes wrong, like if the kids start throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle. Then, of course, it’s “”Can’t she control her child?” Or “Where’s Dad?” (probably getting a coffee somewhere, because he’s earned it).

Freedom and Hobbies: Dads Go Golfing, Mums… clean the house kid free

It’s Saturday morning. Dad’s putting on his golf shoes, grabbing his bag, and whistling his way out the door. “See you later! I’ll be back by dinner!” (lies - always add an extra 2 hours, minimum) he says, as if he’s going on a great adventure and not just spending five hours trying to hit a ball into a hole. Society cheers him on. “Go, Dad! You work hard; you deserve this!”

Meanwhile, if mum dares to mention she’d like to go out, too, it’s like she’s making a shocking confession. “Who’s going to watch the kids?” people ask, eyes wide. She has to jump through hoops to make arrangements, pack snacks, coordinate with other parents… and then still face a guilty look from her little one asking, “Where are you going, Mum?”

For some mums, the closest they get to a “hobby” is reading the back of the cereal box or folding socks while pretending it’s therapeutic. Want a little more freedom? Sure thing, Mum—just bring the kids with you!

The Mental Load: An Invisible Burden Mums Know All Too Well

Picture the scene: you’re going out for the day as a family (which you planned - obviously) and while you’re wrestling getting the kids ready, making lunch boxes while also googling “How do you treat croup”, and attempting to ensure your face won’t scare other people’s children, you hear, “Do we really need all this stuff in the baby bag?” Yes, Steve, we do.

For mums, the mental load is that never-ending to-do list running in the background, like a software program that never shuts off. She knows the sizes of everyone’s shoes, the preferred snacks, the days for PE kits, and exactly what to do if that teddy has to be washed before bedtime. Dads, on the other hand, get credited with “helping out” if they remember to pack just one snack for a day out.

To be fair, not all dads are oblivious—but society sure lets them off the hook more easily. If Dad forgets about the school bake sale, it’s, “Oh well, he’s busy.” But if Mum does? Cue the raised eyebrows and hushed whispers of “She didn’t bring the cupcakes.”

Why These Double Standards Are Just Absurd

Sure, these double standards can be frustrating, but sometimes they’re so ridiculous, you have to laugh. Mums are basically seen as superheroes—*without the cape or theme music* —while dads get cheers for just showing up. It’s like giving someone an award for remembering to breathe.

Moving Forward: Let’s Make Parenting a Real Team Sport

1. Celebrate Both Parents Equally: If Dad deserves a medal for wrangling the kids, Mum deserves a parade. Let’s even it out, shall we?

2. Encourage Shared Responsibility: Enough of “helping out.” Dads don’t “babysit” their kids—they’re parenting. Let’s give them (and the language) an upgrade.

3. Normalise Personal Time for Mums: Mums should be able to get away without getting 15 calls about where the spare nappies are kept.

4. Acknowledge the Mental Load: If you ever see a mum “staring off into space,” she’s probably just reviewing her mental to-do list. Give her a break—or better yet, ask what you can do to help her tackle that list.

At the end of the day, a little humour goes a long way, but these double standards are no joke. When we start expecting and appreciating equal contributions from both parents, we’ll finally be on the right track to making parenting a true team sport—one where both players get a shot at MVP.